WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER

I Should Be Your Girlfriend The Servant (UK)

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our anniversary is fast approaching. last night, we sat together and talked about it. it feels weird that we would be apart for it. we decided to spend it together, the three of us.

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i just found out that i’ll be in LA for both remix hotel (with hank shocklee!) and a pilot show that i’ll be directing and filming! LA folk, let’s hook up!

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heard about the optimist that got a flat tire? he pulled over to the side of the road, got out of the car stared at his flat tire and rejoiced, “alright! the other three are still working!”

~xoxo

HIDE ALL YOUR LOVE LETTERS

Don’t Tell Them Paul Brill (USA)

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keep them guessing.

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“he who speaks, does not know. he who knows, does not speak.” ~tao te ching

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i went out last friday night. i was in a good mood and had a good time. i first went and met with ______ at her work where she bartends. we’ve decided to work on the film that we started almost 3 years ago but dropped after doing the first set of storyboards for ACT I. we met initially about making music, but this particular idea i had made better sense. it has a start and an end with the potential to grow in many directions but it has a central goal…the movie. it’s gonna be great! i finished the script! the title?? BIZARRE LOVE PENTAGRAM. if you want to read it and make suggestions, let me know.

if you want to be part of it, let me know and i can plug you in somewhere. the goal is to screen it on valentine’s day 2007. so we’ll shoot by december. i nned a producer, casting, and location scout. anyone? no money, but i’ll buy you drinks…for now.

after we met, i had another meeting with some folks that might sign me on to shoot and direct a tv pilot for HBO. if all goes well, i’ll finally have better bread and butter.

i went to the rickshaw after a successfully positive conversation with the ceo and the main host for that show. figuring that it was a productive day, i decided to get my swerve on and hang with nice people that i knew will be there like dom, gold, jase, jef, and the usual circle of people that have become staple celebs at these gigs. who i didn’t expect was a new photographer brought in by one of the girls that flock jef and panic events. i swear, this girl was so pretty! she seemed real nice too. i wanted to meet her but felt nervous. i was being watched by ’someone.’ at one point of the night, she started dancing with me after exchanging smiles. i saw her photos of that night and was real impressed.

i ended up at the speakeasy again on _th and _______. is it just me or was there more jocks there than ever? could they be the ones dropping roofies and ghb in girl’s drinks that i’ve been hearing more about? maybe not. but, it wasn’t fun. two young gf’s were there scamming free drinks and pot from various boys by leading them on as if they were gonna slobber on their pickles if they did. when the boys try to redeem their investments and get their kiss on, the girls cramp and grab my hand on the dancefloor to signal ‘SOS’ which puts me at an awkward spot cuz, ofcourse, being the joselito that i am, do come to the rescue. i used my jedi mind powers to dissuade one guy from aggressively trying to make out with one of them by actually cockblocking.

afterwards, i thought, ‘why should i risk getting into a fight with some drunk horny dude for nothing?’ i’m like big brother all of a sudden? girls, stop scamming drinks and drugs this way! either get friends to buy a drink that you’ll reciprocate another time or go home. don’t stick around and target guys to buy you a drink then ditch them! worse, when you’re dancing and they’re trying to ‘dance’ with you, please don’t pull me in to cockblock!!! fights can start that way and i really don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. especially after seeing jet li’s ‘fearless.’ that was brilliant! =D plus, it’s real sophomoric. have some class.

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i contacted her again. i was missing her badly. a lot has been happening and i wish i could tell her…but it’s better if i just keep it to myself. i’m moving on and i wish i could share it. but, i’m not ready to date just yet.

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xoxo

BUT I’D RATHER BE DANCING WITH YOU

Shake That Ass The Lovemakers

*featuring san francisco’s beloved knight of turntables RICHIE PANIC and starlette ELISE-MARIE!!! with special girl on girl appearance by Nightlife Mistress EMILY BETTY!!!!!*

You can have my love
Take my body
You can have anything you want
If you shake that ass for me

I’ve been sittin’ at the bar all night
Just a-waitin ’til the time is right
What you’re doin’ on the dance floor
Baby its a-makin’ me feel alright
You shake your body like a rag doll girl
Like you’re gonna break in two
I’m gonna show you what it’s all about
When you take me home with you

Tell your boyfriend that you’re leavin’
And you won’t be home tonight
We’ll be rockin ’til the mornin’
Gonna make you feel make you feel alright

You can have my love
Take my body
You can have anything you want
If you shake that ass for me

I’ve been dancin’ with my boyfriend baby
but I’d rather be dancin’ with you
I kinda noticed you been watchin’ me boy
And I know you really want me too
I’ve been feelin’ all crazy lately
Feelin’ like a loaded gun
If you take me back to your place baby
I think we could have some fun

I told my boyfriend that I’m leavin’
And I wont be home tonight
Gonna rock with you ’til the mornin’
Gonna make you feel make you feel alright!

[4x]
You can have my love
Take my body
You can have anything you want
If you shake that ass for me

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HAPPY BEGINNINGS @ CLUB DELUXE!!!! (haight @ clayton)

hey come by club deluxe for late happy hour (7-10pm) before hitting all the spots tonight. (parties galore at mez’, the shaw, mighty, speakeasy, etc…it all starts at club deluxe on the haight)

mojitos a la rohini and jessica and real good music/videos a la joselito and ?? if you owe me a drink, come by here and tip the girls. if you wanna roll with me tonight, meet me there for sure! it’s an awesome place to play catch-up and those in the know already frequent it on fridays before mayhem to start the night out right! let’s shake our asses tonite!!!

CHEERS

LOST ID

Aeroplane Man Jonzi D (UK)

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WHEN THE BODY IS MY KINGDOM AND THE THRONE IS IN MY DOME

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it’s funny cuz i mighta gone through something like this too when i was around 18. i was born in the islands then raised with irish sensibilities until i left for europe after finishing high school early. on the docks of the english channel, right before taking the amphibious boat to france, i was called a ‘gook’ for the first time. two english soldiers told my bandmates to ‘lose the gook’ then stared me down. it was my first blatant experience of identity theft that i was conscious of…

later that year, after returning from our tour, i chopped all my hair off and started studying about island life and my alien roots. i learned so much about the reality of my being that i believed home was elsewhere. but, when i got elsewhere, the people there made it blatantly clear that i do not belong there either. so i went back ‘home’ and grew my hair back out.

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bristol bartender: “…so…pardon my ignorance…but…where exactly is the philippine islands?”

cute foreigner: “…umm…it’s in between mexico…malaysia…and…your legs!” =D

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xo

TIME TO MOVE ON

Life Is On TV Ebb (Sweden)

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time to grow up.

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“i’m going through a major transition. i realized i’m still so immature for a man my age. i went from ‘toys ‘r’ us’ to ‘babies ‘r’ us’ without ever experience what’s in between. what is in between?? =P “

“Hot Topic, the Gap, Banana Republic… “

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“yeah. its funny that you described exactly how i was feeling. “

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“why do you put your life on public display??!! you wear your heart on your sleeve and don’t for one minute think that everyone is looking at you thinking how awful! have you no shame?!”

“…it’s all fiction. please don’t read into it too deep. it’s just entertainment.”

“you’re lying!”

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大好き。。。ほんとおに。でも、それはあるよ。ごめんあさい。

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LAYAS!!!!!!!!!

LAST KISS

Low Cost Armand Méliès (France)

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“…she may be smiling…but her eyes will tell you otherwise.”

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i completely fell asleep as soon as i put my head down. all i remember was staring at all the text messages i got on the phone of where the parties were and how many guests i had on the list. in between them, were msgs of sweet nothings from ______ and ______ who wanted to let me know that they were thinking of me. that was real sweet…but i couldn’t help putting my head down.

i went out the past few nights. i thought i’d have a good time…but i only got drunk and at the end of the night thought only of the last kiss…and how we both knew it would be the last.

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“daddy?? where are you? i miss you! can we hang out this weekend? i promise i won’t punch you on your…you know.”

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i hugged ku all weekend. then, he punched me real hard on the…you know. a number of
women, especially ______, would’ve cheered if they were there. it was a good swift upper cut. i fell on the floor and accepted it. i deserved it.

i couldn’t wait for my balls to turn blue…i guess i got what i wished for. lol

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ku and i have been playing ’slug bug’ every morning on the way to his school. he’s gotten pretty good at remembering where the usual ones are parked. there’s a green one by castro and a red one by twin peaks. as soon as he sees it, ‘WHAM!’ we have so much fun. his teeth are growing out but it’s still all jagged looking. his smile is hilariously cute! lol he looks like an old man without his front teef.

i’m real lucky to have him.

as soon as you see the vw bug in the video, go ahead and punch the person closest to you. if it’s a guy, punch him on his…you know.

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first kiss.

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

Liar Taking Back Sunday

All our secrets they are deadly trouble
Dribble noose knot around your head
Your spotless instincts are valid
We coexist
Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
We got 26 days to work with (it moves, it moves, it moves)
We’ll see what all gets done

I’m an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love
You can tell me that you don’t beg

Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all choir boys at best
(intrusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all choir boys at best
(intrusive and arrogant)

Got 26 days to work with (got 26 days)
Then back on that island
That you swear by
You barely can’t afford
It’s still a question of
How long will this hold?
Well is it any different
Now that we are home
Don’t you know its not here, not now
(it moves, it moves, it moves)
Not here, not now

I’m an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love
You can tell me don’t beg

Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all choir boys at best
(intrusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
Were all choir boys at best
(intrusive and arrogant)

We’re all choir boys at best

Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all choir boys at best
(intusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
If we’re keeping score
We’re all choir boys at best
(inntusive and arrogant)
Liar (liar)
Liar (liar)
It takes one to know one

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post emo = goth. no! indie rock, bitches!

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yesterday, i started acting lead for a short film titled, ‘take as directed,’ about a guy in his mid 20’s who suffers from schizoprhenia. the twist in the movie is that he’s happiest when he slips into an episode where he encounters a figment character who coaxes him to take his pills. when he does, he goes back to ‘normal’ and becomes dull and depressing. does this sound familiar?

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i’ve been all horns lately. must be that time of the month. i’m going out tomorrow night to celebrate my virginity. care to be my cock-block? let’s go eat someone!

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“…i lied about my ____. i told you i was ____ so you’d sleep with me.”

“that’s ok. i’m really not ____. i just said that so you’d let me ____ in the ___.”

“wow, really? that felt real ____.”

“yea, i’ve been practicing on my _____.”

“you must really enjoy _____?”

“only with a jar of ____ and a bag of ____. otherwise i use both my hands.”

“amazing! let me call my lawyer.”

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let’s build slow and steady so that when the bubble bursts, fireworks light up!

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xoxoxo

STICK WITH ME BABY I’LL DO BETTER

Tell Me What You Want Jack Knife Lee (UK)

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“how are you with honesty?”

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as certain things degrade to finality, other things open up and new horizons, with brighter futures, are coming to fore. “keep humble,” i tell myself. “yes, your fear of success has shed, you appear more attractive to others, and your talents are now uncontested. but, still, keep humble and treat everyone with care and courtesy.”

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“you need to move on.”

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i need to move out.

MY LOVE FOR HER IS TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME TO DIE

Cold Irons Bound Bob Dylan

I’m beginning to hear voices and there’s no one around
Well, I’m all used up and the fields have turned brown
I went to church on Sunday and she passed by
My love for her is taking such a long time to die

I’m waist deep, waist deep in the mist
It’s almost like, almost like I don’t exist
I’m twenty miles out of town, in cold irons bound

The walls of pride are high and wide
Can’t see over to the other side
It’s such a sad thing to see beauty decay
It’s sadder still, to feel your heart torn away

One look at you and I’m out of control
Like the universe has swallowed me whole
I’m twenty miles out of town in Cold irons bound

There’s too many people, too many to recall
I thought some of ‘m were friends of mine; I was wrong about ‘m all
Well, the road is rocky and the hillside’s mud
Up over my head nothing but clouds of blood

I found my world, found my world in you
But your love just hasn’t proved true
I’m twenty miles out of town in cold irons bound
Twenty miles out of town in cold irons bound

Oh, the winds in Chicago have torn me to shreds
Reality has always had too many heads
Some things last longer than you think they will
There are some kind of things you can never kill

It’s you and you only, I’ve been thinking about
But you can’t see in and it’s hard lookin’ out
I’m twenty miles out of town in cold irons bound

Well the fats in the fire and the water’s in the tank
The whiskey’s in the jar and the money’s in the bank
I tried to love and protect you because I cared
I’m gonna remember forever the joy that we shared

Looking at you and I’m on my bended knee
You have no idea what you do to me
I’m twenty miles out of town in cold irons bound
Twenty miles out of town in cold irons bound

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you have the same effect on me now as you did the first time we met. xo

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Babies Colleen

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My precious cherub…please come again…and stay awhile.

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when i was young, i believed that “the end of the tunnel” often spoke about by near death experience reports is nothing short than the light coming in from the end of the womb’s canal. as we die one death, we breathe life in another.

i swear it wasn’t the acid.