NOOD IS GUDE

Low in the Sky, “Are You for Real” Dir. Kyle Ruddick and Cari Ann Shim Sham* USA

***

***

yesterday, ku went to the san francisco museum of modern art with his mom where the pablo picasso exhibit was happening (until may 28!). he’s been studying art in school and i was quite amazed at how much he understood about the man picasso and how his paintings evolved from what it was to what it is. he talked about it like he knew so much…and he did! i was like, ‘wow, dude…are you, like, smart or something?’ he said, ‘no, i just like the paintings.’

at that moment, he immediately whispered with a grin, ‘there were paintings of naked women there! keke!’ i think he expected me to go, ‘hey! no looking!’ instead, he was amazed i smiled big with him. i asked, ‘were they beautiful?’ he paused to think about it all the while holding his grin to say, ‘ofcourse!’ but instead he said, ‘yea, it was soooo beautiful!’ i was glad.

i wanted to say, ‘take any beautiful panorama in the world, place a woman’s ass next to it and, more than likely, we would be staring at the ass’ but instead i said, ‘yea, i like naked women. especially in paintings.’ he asked, ‘are you stupid or something?’ i said, ‘no, i just like the paintings.’

***

today at work, i was able to hit all my objectives and finished the last phase of research before moving forward full force in setting up some crazy broadcasting projects! i recently proposed to set up the college radio station AND broadband television station and have been neck deep in technology research and production programming.

today, all my questions are answered and budget restraints identified. this project, plus the movie, plus another secret ‘happy hour’ hobby, and i should be busy enough to keep out of being in a slump while ku is gone. that way, when i do go out and when we see each other, we can party like it’s fast times in ridgemont high!

***

i recently unearthed cases of dusty 60’s and 70’s hard rock records i put away in storage a while back ago…thin lizzy, nazareth, marillion, legend, ufo, bowie, judas priest, nina hagen, bruce, cash, lief garrett(!), rush, police, foghat, cream, pentagram, sabbath, and two other crates of stuff like EXODUS, MEGADETH, SLAYER, VIO-LENCE, D.R.I., DEATH ANGEL, SACRILEGE, AGNOSTIC FRONT, CRUMBSUCKERS, VENOM, S.O.D., MOTORHEAD, and other amazingly nostalgic stuff. i shall play during a hush hush happy hour at a secret beauty bar near you!

***

AMON TOBIN, my great electronic / dnb / breakbeat hero, plays this friday at Mezzannine. please come! very different. very smart. very real.

LET LOVE BE THE REASON

The Bees “Listening Man” (dir. Dominic Leung) UK – Quicktime

cutest song ever. i feel like this all the time.

***

***

i miss your kiss.

***

sometimes, miscommunication can be mended by simply shutting up.

***

thank you for listening…

***

yesterday, i was able to catch Miranda July at Modern Times Bookstore on Valencia. she was reading passages off her new book which i anticipate reading considering that i have a big giant super crush on her.

i think i’m a sucker for smart, sassy, and stylish ladies. her movie, “me, you, and everyone we know” is one of my favorite indie films and was a critical inspiration springboard for me to do my own. ofcourse, it’s nowhere near her brilliant writing style, but i’ll get there so long as i keep going and you keep believing. thank you.

the bookstore was packed! there were so many people there that it smelled like a locker room. i chose to stand outside and listened to her through the crack of the opened door. i was able to listen and hear but all the other people kept complaining they couldn’t so i gave up my spot for them. yea, nice guy syndrome.

the site that she made for her book is also very clever. she’s really swell.

No One Belongs Here More Than You

when she finished reading, some people left and made room for some of us standing outside to catch her Q&A at the least. she’s real cute and sharp with her answers. it’s nice to know that people i admire are also (falsely) modest. it inspires me and makes me think that i too could accomplish storytelling goals. thanks miranda!

***

i went out last night and didn’t really have fun. i think i’m getting old. either that or the places i go to have gotten old. maybe both. or, maybe, i just need your company. that way, anything is worth doing and anyplace worth going. when can i see you again?

***

ku got his green belt!!!! he did so well on his exam that i’m glowing with pride! he has a tournament match coming up so i’m getting him ready to fight clean and mean. wish us luck!

i’m a bit sad. after the tournament, he leaves for japan for summer school and travel. i wish i could go with him but i just can’t afford it. i’m gonna be lonely so i hope i stay busy. visit me?

***

xoxo

IF YOU CAN’T JOIN THEM, BEAT THEM!!!

Northern Lite ft. Chapeau Claque “Enemy” Dir: 18.OKTOBER (Germany)

Meine liebe ist mein größter feind,
und ich kann mich nicht wehren,
sie reist alles an sich,
mein herz ist wund, mein herz es fühlt sich leer

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

mmhhh maybe I just can’t let go

meine liebe ist mein albtraum,
ich kann mich nicht von ihr befreien,
vielleicht kann ich sie vergessen,
und eines tages ihr verzeihn

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

mybe I just can’t let go…..

und ich kann mich nicht wehren

und ich kann mich nicht wehren

und ich kann mich nicht wehren

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

no I don`t show
hey I don`t know
maybe I just can`t let go

***

***

please join me in wishing KU encouragement and perseverance on his GREEN BELT exam this sunday!!! green belt is the 2nd highest he can achieve until his black belt exam when he’s 18. he stuck with it and practice his groind kicks and pre-emptive strikes on me! i wish him luck and please show some comment love so i can show him that many admirers are rooting for him! GANBATTE KUDASAI!!!! (“go for it! do your best!!!”)

***

without saying too much, i’m sending out my resume and reel to friends and companies looking for digital media producers and broadcasters. got leads?

***

i need to talk someone. would anyone be willing to play a role in a therapeutic conversation with me regarding matters i can no longer write online lest i risk negative reactions. someone willing to have a drink and dance towards a positive end?? i’ll reciprocate…

***

looking for music to consider for the Bizarre Movie. suggestions??

WAY BACK WHEN WE WERE THE LATEST AROUND

The Little Ones “Lovers Who Uncover” Dir: Terri Timely USA (Long Beach, CA)

Where do all the lovers meet with one another,
in an effort to uncover what has happened to their salad days?
The sprite ones on the corner, dream of something warmer
A semblance of their old ways, what has happened to our handmade days?

Oh no!

Way back when, we were the latest around
We lined and we painted this town
Their faces are green and they don’t know what they’ve done.

We can pull a map out detailing the direct route
Young ones grow anxious to proclaim their advances to the fray
If you don’t wake up and the truth never comes up
We will never have our old way; we will never have a right of way

Oh no!

Way back when, we were the latest around
We lined and we painted this town
Their faces are green and they don’t know what they’ve done.

Won’t you show us where you heart is?

***

***

i have two rotary phones just like the ones in this video except mine are black and yellow. i got ‘em for props in the movie but i totally love them. they’re from the late 70’s. i’d love to get hold of another one colored muted green or crimson red. it’s the only material thing i ask for. i just love the bell when it rings. so analog! lol

***

the movie shoot went off the hook last night! it was probably the easiest and best lighting we’ve done. beauty bar is so fucking awesome for opening their doors for us and even making cameos! thanks shane! thanks bryan lee! i finally buckled and made a cameo myself (having sex in the bathroom with a random girl! not exactly vincent gallo, but hey!)

thank you chris golden! amazing cam and co-direction!

and, ofcourse, thank you iylla jean!!! you were the perfect pick for medusa! please tell your hot friend we might have to reshoot the sex scene again! and again! and again! lol

it’s really all coming along. thank you for supporting and being generally sweet. i hope i can make you all proud.

***

after the shoot, we went to cha cha cha’s for some din and gin. the bartender was being all pissed off because of other customers but we didn’t fuel it. instead we tried calming him down by being all friendly and nice.

dan from EMAP was having a birthday dinner there with a bunch of friends so i got to say yo. a little later, i recognized some dude who was completely covered in tattoos a la yakuza style. it was my classmate from 4th grade!!! we chopped it up and i’m casting him for the movie as a guitarist for the fake band i’m putting together just for the film. everything is tattooed except his balls and butt crack, he said. his armpits are tattooed with naked girls. he shaves his armpits. otherwise the girls would have a real hairy ass.

he told me he’s seen other friends from way back when and that us old school metalheads should hook up and pow wow over good times now that we’re all in mid 30’s. we plan to do just that. MORDRED plays the haight street fair. that’s good THRASH METAL.

he also pointed out that i’m fat. wtf?? maybe i should really look into slimming down. too many people are telling me that i’m getting bigger. any trainers out there? anyone wanna partner up??

the bartender felt bad so he just kept flowing us shots. later on, i saw him on the street so i thanked him. he was with a girl who was really friendly. we hung out for a minute before i offered to drop them off since it was in the way. turned out she was the head human resource manager for Current TV, which i’ve been trying to get into since its inception. how ironic! it always pays off to be nice…you finish last, but rewarded first. plus, i’m use to being last. island time! lol

xo

LOUVRE

Teo et Tea Jean Michel Jarre (France)

***

***

let’s go shake our booties tonight and dance the dance of louvre.

I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO SOME GIRL NAMED…

The 80’s Robbie Williams

***

***

two days of shooting hours of footage has made me pooped. we shoot again tomorrow and on saturday. two more scenes in june after that and this movie is a wrap! it’s funny how when i yell, ‘it’s a wrap!’ it would only be to Chris Golden. everyone else has left me to do it all myself. instead of DIY it should be DIAY (do it all yourself!).

i’m glad i am and i’ll be glad i did. it should definitely be DIA (do it anyways).

***

yesterday, i passed by fort mason and remembered 4th of july in 1984. it was the year i got my very first blowjob.

it was crazy times and i was hanging out with new metalhead and skater friends who i met through keggers and shows. i would couch surf, drink, and take acid with my new friends. that night, i was taken to fort mason as there would be a big congregation of punks at the marina to watch the fireworks. that night, i met ______.

she was 2 years older and was really pretty, i thought. some guy kept bothering her and she whispered to me that some creep is trying to ‘get together’ with her. i volunteered to hold her hand so the guy would think i was her bf and go away. so we started walking around holding hands. i guess the guy hadn’t stopped following her when she started putting her arms around me. i still didn’t know who the guy was, but i guess he kept following us so she started kissing me! i was like, ‘OH MY FUCKING GAWD!’ we made out the whole night.

later, her sister and my buddy _____ came with us to the end of the marina. there, she walked me over by the tractor, unzipped my pants, and went down on me without reserve. i was so fucking scared and had no clue what to do. i’ve seen pictures, but i’ve never felt mouth on my pre-teen vienna sausage before. i wasn’t sure if i was suppose to piss in her mouth or moan or what! it was freezing cold and i wondered what exactly she was doing and if she was actually enjoying it. i don’t remember showering much back then.

anyways, after she realized that i wasn’t getting more excited and staying stiff, she sort of just said, ‘no…it’s not gonna work…tsk…too bad.’ i wasn’t sure if that meant, ‘let’s try later!’ or ’shit, i shoulda just hung out with that creep, i woulda gotten laid!’ well, it didn’t matter. i wasn’t ready to start my fucking career (accent on fucking) just yet. that would have to wait a year later.

the following day, i found out that the ‘creep’ was one of my new friends. in fact, i slept at his house the night before. turned out she just broke up with him earlier that day. he wanted to kill me, ofcourse, but other buddies stopped him. i was confused so i apologized without feeling guilty. i called her one more time just in case she meant, ‘let’s try later.’ but, she got together with some other creep already and they ‘bang all the time’ she said. i don’t remember feeling disappointed. in fact, i think i was relieved.

next time i feel kinky, i think i’ll take you to the end of the marina and rewrite history.

IT TURNS ME ON TO IMAGINE

The Letter PJ Harvey

Put the pen
To the paper
Press the envelope
With my scent
Can’t you see
In my handwriting
The curve Of my g?
The longing

Oh

Who is left that
Writes these days?
You and me
We’ll be different
Take the cap
Off your pen
Wet the envelope
Lick and lick it

Oh

I need you
The time is running out
Oh baby
Can’t you hear me call?

It turns me on
To imagine
Your blue eyes
On my words
Your beautiful pen
Take the cap off
Give me a sign and I’d come running

Oh
It’s you
I want you

***

***

what a day today. i had to go on a shoot for this puppet comedy movie earlier and had to basically keep doing what i was suppose to be doing while having my mind completely on the bizarre love shoot this week. actors aren’t calling me back and the nisa store front is like, ‘wtf?’ to make it worse, certain actors schedules aren’t chiming right so i’m having to cut out scenes and rewriting the script to still tell the story (its essence) while chopping out whole roles. i’m glad to say that, today, i had a breakthrough!

i won’t give it away, but it’s all dialed in. in fact, the story is even stronger and with greater depth. even the shallow roles have gone deeper. this will really come out nice. we get to see every character for who they really are and the way i’ve manipulated the new rewrite makes the relationships between them more appealing and less confusing.

i want to thank emily berenice rued for pulling me backstage and away from the audience to realize what matters most for the movie and the characters in it. one word: sundance! not lap dance! i guess that’s three words.

***

i’ve rewritten the introduction of Venom and his transformation as well as Medusa’s part in the whole scandal.

on wednesday, we’ll be shooting a scene at dolores park and nisa store front on 24th/church. on thursday morning, mt. davidson.
on thursday evening is at beauty bar.
on friday night is the rickshaw.
on saturday are the bedroom scenes.

the rest will be in june. a fashion show and a live band show. then wrap!

***

it all hinges on a letter.

***

btw, this friday is egyptian lover at the rickshaw. this night should be a good night to sneak out and steal smiles.

***

xoxo

***

does anyone have size 11 docs or two tones i can borrow until saturday? i just need black shoes actually. everything else is dialed in…call me!!!