THE MAN BEHIND THE SCREEN

Kula Shaker Second Sight (UK)

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strange how syncronicity has ruled abundant in my last few days. maybe it’s The Police being in town.

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“it’s jupiter!”

“that’s not jupiter, you idiot! that’s vega!”

“no way, dude, it’s venus.”

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“how’s the movie coming along?”

“…stronger than a locomotive!”

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everything just came together.

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xoxo

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_______!

everything is good! i cleaned up the house a bit (mainly my room! hehe) and figured out ku’s bedroom set up. it’ll cost $500 for a loft bed that i’ll put together. i made extra money by doing some dj stuff last week. i’m also thinking of subleting my room for $100/week to some cast people that want to stay for two weeks after the shoot. i can trust them and it will pay for my food. plus, it won’t be so lonely in here…

i went to karate yesterday and thought of going every mon wed fri but now i have meetings all before 10am so once a week will be it.

i also lost 7 pounds. i’ve been eating trader joe’s and lots of veggies. cooking is keeping me company.

the movie is coming together. i’ve been in meetings with cast and now with potential producers. i plan to get everything shot before you come home. we’ll be using the house again. don’t worry, i’ll clean.

__ was in mind. how is he? i’m sure he’s real excited but has he asked about me? please tell him i miss him.

at the same time, it also feels good to be home alone. i’ve been watering the plants, vacuuming, cleaning up stuff, and fixing things here and there. this week is the kitchen cupboard! promise! hahah.

how are you? i’m sure being away gives you space to think of things. i hope you’re having a good time too. make sure you go out and stretch your wings!

send me pictures!

xo,

______

I WAS DANCING WITH MY FRIENDS

Ali Love “Secret Sunday Lover” (UK)

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the disco last night was pretty fun. yes, it was super crowded because of the gay pride parade. our nation’s proud xx♥xx and xy♥xy had descended unto us last friday filling up the city with so much…well…gayness. at the disco, i was one of three straight guys there, which worked out for me since there were beautiful ladies there who insisted i take their number down.

it was hilarious fun hangin’ with _____, who remembers meeting me when she was 15 at a rave and snuck into our studio while some hippies and i were working on breakbeats. at first, i didn’t really like this girl, thinking she’s a jailbait harlot. but, the more i got to know her, she’s not half as bad as i thought. she’s 19 now which just makes her a desirable harlot.

we were accompanied by _____, who, after finding a few minutes alone with me, confessed about his heartache with his ex-boyfriend who i also knew. they were swell and good looking latino chaps. but, his beloved had decided to step back into straight life. he’s working his own feelings out. he likes girls too. but his beloved moved him so. when the girls came back, he literally bounced off the walls with a giant rubber exercise bouncy ball. that was a cackle and a half!

____ showed up. i really like this guy cuz he’s just funny. i met him through his girlfriend. we share a few things in common including hardcore music and vandalism. i love how he intimidates girls and gets them to confess about masturbation! lol fun.

i was whisked away last night after the disco by familiar afterpartyers and one complete stranger who had the best of me on sunrise. i guess as the roosters cackled ‘cock-a-doodle-do’, some people cackled back, ‘your-cock’ll-definitely-do.”

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today, i slept all day for the first time since college.

SHUTTER SPEED

the horrors last night was magical. every single person we met and worked with were top notch, hospitable, clever, and quite attractive!!!

thank you to dj nako for giving us the opportunity to shoot the show! at first we were worried that the interview we hoped for wouldn’t happen since there were 3 other media crews there. nylon magazine was doing their own documentary of the band, mp3.com typically shoot popscene, and there was a full film crew for a feature length on the horrors slated for sundance! so, we waited patiently and didn’t stress over it. but, when josh (guitar) and tom (bass) passed us, we told him we had geeky sound questions for them and they immediately invited us on the tour bus for some onion rings and beer! haha!

l to r: josh, faris, and tom

“it was the best interview we’ve had” they said. we were all geeks chuckling about mexican food and how the drummer got sick! lol

we’ll edit this in 48 hours. stay tuned!

the joselito

ps.

shutter crowd are very good looking and friendly.

SO DON’T GO!

Dragonettes – Take It Like A Man (dir: Ben Taylor) (Canada)

I get a little bit vicious
Thats why you love me
Because you can’t resist it
You do anything for me
You want out but we’re off the ground
So pick out your parachute
Cause i’m not gonna let you down
i will let you get away its not that easy anyway

I dont want to know and i want you for the cause
how does anybody get anything done?
you depend on us
you’ll never get to heaven as the radical son
just eep it up you soldier

You won’t help I cant help
I’ve got to make you understand
You gotta take it like a man

Do you need a dozen roses
Would you like a box of chocolate?
Is it really such a deep cut
That i have to come and stich it up

Yeah I get a little crazy with the razor blades
Go on and call your mama if you need a band-aid
But everything worth it, hurts a little bit
You don’t want to run away,and i wont let you anyway

Cause were doing it for the cause
How do you suppose I get anything done?
You’re making it so hard
You’ll never get to heaven as the radical son
Keep it up you soldier

You won’t help I cant help
I’ve got to make you understand
You gotta take it like a man

I want you for the cause
How does anybody get anything done?
You depend on us
You’ll never get to heaven as the radical son
Don’t be running off
Cause This is Love
What did you think it was?
Ooh. the thing is love, love
So don’t go!

You won’t help I cant help
I’ve got to make you understand
You gotta take it like a man
Take it like a man
You gotta take it like a man
You gotta take it like a man

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“…you know we’re leaving, right?”

“yea…next week.”

“you should spend time with us.”

“i’m going to but there’s somewhere i wanted to go later tonight.”

“…fine. (click)”

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(love letters found in the basement)

…i was frozen standing there reading that last letter she wrote. i remembered how i cried for three whole months after she dumped me. it was a terrible period. i was convinced that we would eventually marry and have a bunch of spanish, filipino-chinese, el salvadoreno-jewish babies. how wrong.

i remember when she came back from europe. it took her 3 days before she had time and rest to see me. i was so proud that i didn’t cheat on her this time and kept the rubber she gave me to return to her as a symbol of my committment. i haven’t had the best history on that. in fact, 2 years before, i had gone to europe and had an affair with a slavic lovely who i ended up introducing to her. they didn’t hit it off. tsk.

when we met up, she broke it off with me right away. turned out she slept with that guy from tennessee while in london and she intends to have him over the summer. i was so devastated! yes, i had an affair, but i returned to her. she had an affair and cut me off. when i showed her the condom, she immediately grabbed it and said, ‘i’m gonna need that.’

the very first place we ever made love

she gave me a promise ring when we first declared vows in the cemetery the first year we started secretly seeing each other. it was made of her infant silver spoon. it never left my finger. one night, it broke out of nowhere. it just broke. she called me from london the next day. ‘weird,’ i thought. when i told her, she froze.

i completely unraveled. her ‘best friend,’ ______, would call to make sure i was ok. at first, she said she was calling for her. then, she would just call to make sure i don’t do anything stupid like _____ and take a razor bath. she would come over and give me company and tell me how _____ borrowed her sexy leather before she went off to london and how she recently went shopping for new cute underwear because that tennessee guy was coming. she even went as far as to tell me how they did it doggystyle halfway out of the bathroom, according to her.

there was nothing else to do but to fuck the living shit out of her best friend and pound her pussy like there was no tomorrow.

when tomorrow came, i got a call from my ex. her ‘best friend’ called her right away and told her that her pussy was sore because of me…and that we deserve each other. i screamed at her for doing all those things like borrowing sexy leather and buying undies for her tennessee asshole and how she could fucked him doggystyle halfway out of the bathroom. she froze. ‘all lies’ she said. i froze.

i didn’t talk to her again. i cried for months until one day i stopped. i met _______. i married her and had a spanish, filipino-chinese, japanese baby. i’ve been glad everything happened the way they did ever since.

i’ve almost forgotten about her. she was so lovely in our youth. we had the best sex in my youth, often experiencing simultaneous orgasms and sex in weird places where we can get caught. she also loved me the best.

when i was putting the letters back in the cigar box, two pieces of metal dropped out onto the basement floor. it was the “broken promise” ring.

DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?

Bats For Lashes “What’s A Girl To Do” (dir. Dougal Wilson) UK

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“omg i luv this girl”

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absence makes the heart grow wiser. wiser makes the heart grow absent.

distance makes the heart grow fonder. fonder makes the heart grow distant.

what’s a boy to do?

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i started cleaning out the basement to make room for other gear junk that i can’t depart with. i have too many cables and audio-video shit that i keep thinking i’ll use again for an installation or something. i’m too attached for someone who can’t commit! lol

i found a cigar box full of love letters from _____ with dates from 19__. it was totally unexpected. i thought i found an old stash of herb in a box in the basement hidden behind the dryer and the giant harley davidson bear i won at the fair 7 years ago. i opened it and petals from a dried rose flattened as a bookmark for a page in a poetry book we once shared crumbled out.

the cigar box had a candle wax seal typical of what i use to do in letters and poems i wrote on brown paper shopping bags. inside it were bracelets, a bottle of vanilla scent oil, a tarot card of ‘the sun.’

underneath it, were her letters. i read from the top to the bottom. at first, they were all sweet and full of doodles like bats and bugs we love. she always kissed the letters, leaving her black or crimson red lipstick marks. i never got enough kisses from her. i loved kissing her so much she started to complain.

the next several letters were different. she started complaining that all i want to do is kiss her all the time and that our lips were locked, kissing or not.

and then the letter at the bottom. it was 7 pages and it was plain. it had no flowers, no bats, sun rays, coils, or kisses. the first word was “dear” the last word was “_______.”

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my cat disappeared! i’ve been sad the past several days. she might’ve been attacked? she might’ve just ran away?? maybe someone too her? or, took her in?

ku and i have been real bummed. i know she wasn’t sick so she couldn’t have disappeared to die. she always comes home and 8 years with her without a neck license has never been an issue. a friend pointed out that maybe a neighbor started feeding her and she decided to stay with them. i got real sad. i tried being funny and said, ‘yea…just like women!’

he joked and said, ‘then you shoulda kept her inside.’ i said to myself, ‘i shoulda fed her better…and pet her a lot more…’ =(

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i can’t wait to see the horrors! farris is insane! josh is a fucking sound geek like me! his guitar pedal setup is his own tweaks! it’s gonna be insane. that’s all.

here’s their playlist!

IT ENDS HOW IT BEGINS

The Horrors “She’s The New Thing” Dir: Corin Hardy (UK)

She’s a special girl you know
The kind i’d hope to see
Hanging on a wall
Watching me cross the street

I wonder how long it will be
Before i’m sick of her
And i no longer care
Where she goes or has been
She’s the new thing
She’s the new thing
She’s the new thing
She’s the new thing

She is a new thing
She is the new thing
Another new thing
Feel my stomach sink
As i curse my slow limbs
She is the new thing
Always the new thing
Starting at her, alterior Girl

Once she had me on my knees
Enamoured with disease
Now she fails to impress
A different Sickness

A different kind of sickness
Lacking any interest
And i, sunk in apathy totally absorbed in me
Sitting vacant on my own,
my senses lying prone

She was the new thing
She was the new thing
She was the new thing

Another new thing
Another new thing
Another new thing
She was the new thing
Another new thing
Feel my stomach sink
As i curse my slow limbs
She was the new thing
Always the new thing
Starting at her, alterior Girl
I cast myself in to whatever she brings

With sickness it ends how it begins
First mine then hers
And then the cycle blurs
As my actions reoccur
Through no fault of my own

Another new thing

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women are pretty.

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i had a great weekend. i haven’t gone out and partied in a while so i decided after achieving lots at work and the movie that i’d go out. i went to the loaded party last friday and got so drunk i ended up behind the alley between the trash bins doing what i had to do. i faintly remember faces like van’s and golden’s and waiving sign language to them to the instance of “i shall return.” i woke up 5am in the car still parked in front of the rickshaw the following morning.

good thing i didn’t drive. phew.

last night also went off the hook! shane from the beauty bar called me in last minute to spin some records during happy hour. i’ve been asking if it’s ok to just come in and play old records from the 70’s and early 80’s for beer and giggles. i headed down there and spun records for the first time in almost 3 years. i was surprised the place filled up at 9pm!(?) it was early, happy, a party of girls all getting their swerve on, and people singing along when i threw down Frankie and Toni Basil. in the end, they gave me a fat tip and i was happy! i was off to frisco disco right after that.

i was invited out by some girl i met several weeks back at cha cha cha’s. she had in mind to take me to her underground house party (her scene) and i didn’t want to flake. we’ve been email and phone-tagging and you know how it sucks when you don’t actually meet up when you say you would. before i go see her, though, it was off to the disco to say ‘yo’ to familiar faces. i was actually struck by the cuteness and sex appeal of two young ladies there. i never ever even trip off chicks but, for some reason, this one girl was real fun to talk to and reminded me so much of a young you that i couldn’t help getting all excited. she definitely grabbed my attention. must be summer already?

the other was hanging out with all the mutual friends but noone would introduce us. we just kept making eye contact and smiling until i finally lept over and introduced myself. i think she’s ______’s girlfriend but i see him with so many different girls i wasn’t sure. she was a cutie though…

*jefrodisiac’s new track he produced and sang on (with elise-marie!) was fackin awesome! yay jeff!

1:30am and my lady friend text’d “suppy puppy?” so i hustled on over to her afterparty spot where everyone is all house music and ready to pop and lock! so i got my stomp on and finally got some exercise! lol i still got moves though, yo! there, my friend and i kicked it, bumped it, puffed it, grinded it, then, at the corner of my eye, i see a familiar face…BABY RYAN! haha! ryan poulsen was there with the superstar dj guest my lady friend was just bigging up.

5am and i got to bed feeling good that the weekend was fun, friends are warm, luck has stuck, 60 push-ups, good music, pretty ladies, blokes with jokes, food was good, and a new outlook on how to party hardy without being tardy. and, yes, there still are pretty girls out there that are fun to talk and hang out with.

i wish you were here…