SWEET AND STICKY

 Tosca “Honey” – Markus Kienzl Dub (Austria)****** sweet and sweaty. yum.***ever been in a situation when the opportunity to have wild sex all night with no strings with someone you’ve been attracted to for a while is given to you but because you’re trying to be good you say, ‘no,’ and the act of doing so is more of an achievement than getting laid?***speaking of writhing ladies of lust and sweet caress, the next 2 deep kiss party installments is already in the works. we’re gonna have ian zazueta (formerly lights down low) and dmap (every move a picture) coming to bless the decks next wednesday. we’ve set up drink specials and contests for the night.the following deep kiss will be a special ‘going away’ party for sister sf favorite seraphim. she’s moving to new york and special guests audrock and meikee magnetic will be bringing their guns. it’ll be a festive night for lovers-to-be and we’re doing a ’slow dance’ special for those who we recently hooked up. guess who?? =Dadd us for updates and special instructions…

IN THE PUBS THERE ARE NO FIGHTS

Remi Nicole Go Mr. Sunshine (UK)

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***

last night, a girl i met at the disco the week before was at the daft punk/rapture aftershow party looking real swell and being very sweet and friendly. i offered her a drink like i usually do to new friends so we headed to the bar where we chopped it up and laughed a bit at how short we are and how young we look for our age.

she told me how she’s sick of LA and all the fake tits. i was amazed cuz i thought hers were fake too. it looked too perfect. i mentioned that and she insisted that i feel her boobs. so, of course, i did. that was nice of her! lol

i told her about the new night we’re doing at the beauty bar called DEEP KISS and we talked about how deep kissing has become more of a thrill than sex, believing that sex has been cheapened by random and multiple lovers whose kisses mean nothing. “i love kissing” i told her and she said that she does too. “i’d kiss you if i didn’t have people spying on me” she said. she pointed at some guy who she said she came with but not interested in. i’m drama free so i made sure that i don’t do anything that would hurt the guy.

after a few minutes, i noticed the guy was gone. “you’re spy walked away” i chuckled. all of a sudden, she lunged at me and started kissing me pretty passionately! i didn’t know what to do. i wanted a kiss since i haven’t for a while, but i really didn’t know the girl. she’s pretty. she’s smart. she’s open. she could also have herpes.

after a minute, we stopped and she reluctantly stepped back and said “we better stop before i get into trouble. my boyfriend is right behind you.”

wtf?? can i just say something here? GIRLS! WHY START FIGHTS?? that kind of shit is what gets dudes all huffy puffy! thanks for the kiss but, yo! NO DRAMA!!! don’t use me to push your boring and clingy boyfriend away! …pffft.

***

the week before, i was at the disco and there was this one tranny who kept on starting shit with these girls who were just dancing there enjoying themselves. he spilled his drink all over their jackets and then tried to make them buy him a new drink! wtf? and then when he started flipping them off to their face when they wouldn’t. i had to step in and break it up and asked him to leave them alone. and then, he started shit with me!!! i wanted to clobber him outside (friends are the dj’s and it’s their party so i said to step outside). he wouldn’t come out.

so, folks, if you guys and gals see bullshit like that which disturb the balance of fun and raunch at our disco spots, please step up and break it up. dudes, if girls push you back, don’t flip them off! stop trying to rub your herpes on them! girls, if a guy is just trying to get their swing on, just push their shoulder a bit and wave ‘no’ with your finger if you don’t like it. don’t try to get your buddies to jump him! i see it too often.

hopefully, tonight, when we’re all getting our swerve on and we see bullshit like that, let’s calm people down and remind them to turn around and just have fun. noone wants to fight at the pub. it spoils it for everyone. if anyone wants to fight, we can all go to the EAST BAY RATS fight club instead.

***

on a better note, i wanted to let everyone know that i’ll be producing another cooking show soon. it’ll be a reggae cooking show appropriately called “JAMAICA ME HUNGRY! lol

yea, some folks in the east bay found out about the cooking show i did with my homie aleks a few years back that featured KANYE WEST, DILATED PEOPLES, DJ FUZE, JOHN LEGEND, RZA, KID KOALA, AMON TOBIN, & PAM THE FUNKSTRESS. it never got picked up but it was a thrill to edit the pilot episodes.

i was thinking of having several episodes, one of which focuses on “pastafarians” and will feature “ITAL-ian cooking” (vegan/kosher). another one will be “JERK OFF” (a contest for the best jerk!). the name of the resident restaurant is KARRIBEAN CITY in Oakland. i have a meeting with them this week so if anyone would like to join me for dinner there, just give me a jerk! lol …and don’t be a jerk.

***

ooh! i just learned a bomb ass cuban recipe for shredded flank and black bean soup. i’m staying in today and about to grub in the backyard while enjoying the sun. it’s nice to be home alone on this summer day.

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taking pictures for the storyboard at the mission today. call me if you wanna smoke a doob and get creative with me. 415 994 33*5

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lots of love,

jox

WHEN I GET A LITTLE SCARED

Tegan & Sara Back In Your Head (Canada)Build a wall of books between us in our bedrepeat, repeat the words i know we both saidrelax into the need we get so comfortableremember when i was so strange and likeablei just want back in your headi just want back in your headI’m not unfaithful but I’ll strayWhen I get a little scaredWhen I get a little scaredWhen I get a littleWhen I jerk away from holding hands with youI know these habits hurt important parts of youremember when how sweet and unexplainablenothing like this person unloveablei just want back in your headi just want back in your headI’m not unfaithful but I’ll strayWhen I get a little scaredWhen I get a little scaredWhen I get a littleRun, run, runRunRun, run, runRuni just want back in your headi just want back in your headI’m not unfaithful but I’ll strayI’m not unfaithful but I’ll strayI’m not unfaithful but I’ll strayI’m not unfaithful but I’ll stray******it was real nice to hear your voice today. i was in the middle of an audition when you called so i made everyone stop and wait. i’ve been wanting to hear your voice for so long.i was sad to find out that you were in town last weekend. i totally understand you were too busy and had your own company. still, i felt real disappointed that i didn’t see you. especially since i’ve been waiting. but it really was nice to hear your voice today.the other night, i was talking about you with someone who i just met. i had the privilege of identifying our relationship and how i really feel about you to a complete stranger. it was quite therapeutic! =P in the middle of it, i mentioned that i ___ you deeply and will probably do so until the end. remember our promise that we’ll have each other even in our golden years? i believe that so true…even if i never see you again. i will always ____ you.***”dinner? no strings.”

SENORITA, I’D REALLY LOVE TO MEET YA

Dub Pistols feat. Rodney P “Peaches”
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it’s been a crazy past week. so much action happened. i feel relaxed and quite confident that everything is churning out right. i’ve been drama free and surrounded by beautiful people wherever i go. this may not last so i’m soaking up all this good energy while i can.

the auditions for lead and new characters is this tuesday. the past week, i’ve met up with so many potentials to see if there is the ‘real’ and discern them from the ‘actress.’ as a man, i sort of hope to meet the ‘real’ and truly get to the core of what inspires me.

but, as a filmmaker, i’m looking for the actress who inherently understands the ‘real,’ someone who can professionally pull of consistent and impacting showmanship, on time, on delivery, on set pretty, and won’t be jerk to the crew or other cast. someone who can truly understand the character as i envision her and then take it to the next level without dismissing the backstory i provide. it’s easier said than done for sure.

this tuesday, the panel is me, michael (actor), and elroy (stylist). more than likely, we’ll take everyone that comes. but, the lead will be heavily argued between us. it’s best that way. they’re opinions will count.

***

latin dutch girl from paris
came to meet me on time.
we hung out all afternoon.
i invited her to dolores park.
we sat there and talked and laughed.
we got hungry so we went for dinner.
we had a drink and laughed some more.
she invited me to her friend’s bday get together.
we had more drinks and sat close.
she raised her brow and smiled a lot.
i noticed her waist, her hips, and her eyes.
she got tired so i took her home.
she asked me out before i drove.
i kissed her cheek.
she called on time.
i picked her up.
we drank like champs
and danced the grind.
she reached for a kiss
and then held back.
‘we’ll still be friends, right?’
…
i made breakfast.

***

xoxo

WITH THE CONFIDENCE OF A CLOWN

Peter Von Poehl The Story Of The Impossible (Sweden)

Whatever happened to the great escape
The finest enemy.
Crafted with pride by monsters on the train.
The world is great to suckers

We have the story of the impossible
A tale passed on so frail
One of make-belief
Maybe impossible to achieve
And really close

Who sew the lion’s hungry in the cage
With the confidence of a clown
The little man who rises on the stage
As he falls without a safety net

We have the story of the impossible
A tale passed on so frail.
One of make-belief
Maybe impossible to achieve
And really close

Whatever happened to the great escape
And all the plans we make
Crafted with pride by Monsters on the train.
[The Story Of The Impossible Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]
The world is great to suckers.

We have the story of the impossible
A tale passed on so frail.
One of make-belief
Maybe impossible to achieve
But oh so close

***

..

***

you wouldn’t believe it but i use to do stand-up sketch comedy back in college! seriously, i use to do theater. i’m a thespian lesbian i guess you could say.

last night, i happened by a guy who asked me for a light and after staring at each other we realized we were both in a comedy production a good 12 years ago. he was the director, i was the token (person of color) guy! haha! he swears he didn’t pick me to be that but we did have to argue it out a bit.

yea it wasn’t my first stint on stage but it was my first crack at stage comedy. it wasn’t as funny backstage, if you could imagine. i remember arguing a great deal with the director (and some cast) about stereotypes and how to make it real funny! after all, i could play a mexican, japanese, chinese, indian, eskimo, or filipinese in different scenes…but i would always be a cook! that’s funny! =D

he didn’t think so. they wanted me to play a nerd and fashion it like the typical asian nerd with glasses and pencils in the front pocket…greasy hair to the side kinda like proto-emo. i didn’t want to do that. it was only funny to nerds in denial.

i convinced him to let me make up the character. i chose a stoner metalhead on lsd doing a monologue…rather…a soliloquy…that was rather funny gauging the laughter of the crowd but i really don’t remember the routine. it was in the diego rivera theater on the phelan campus of city college where a 2 million dollar mural of diego rivera is displayed two stories high in the lobby. nice.

thinking back, it was real fun. college was fun. that comedy troupe was an eye opener for sure. there was a girl there named _____ and i made her blush one time. either that or i made her sick but she got real red after i noticed how nice her pair of ____ were.

anyways, he’s a sales manager now for synergy properties. he says i can shoot at any location if i want. nice.

***

“wow, you’re smart too?” (translation: mind-blowing sex)

“i’m not looking for a relationship right now.” (translation: sex not dishes)

“so many one dimensional people…” (translation: me too. sex)

“let’s be friends” (translation: let’s start there)

***

xoxo

WE BELONG APART

Röyksopp A Beautiful Day Without You (Norway)

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fateless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
Beautiful day without you (ah)

Like rays of gold (I honestly can)
Now can I (forget the pain)

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fateless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
Beautiful day without you (without you)

Feeling spoiled
In this world
Fighting beliefs
Now can I

I
Know
My
Tragedy

Notion took about
Still I wonder how
Morning after rain
Clear away the pain

Then after all
When all are gone
It’s plain to see
Just who we are
In the light of hate
The way we talk
Enacting shame
Causing harm
Defend yourself
And keep your guard
We realize
We belong apart
‘Cause we entice
We’ve got ways of knowing

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fateless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
Beautiful day without you (ah)

Like rays of gold (I honestly can)
Now can I (forget the pain)

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fatheless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
Beautiful day without you (without you)

Feeling spoiled in this world
Fighting beliefs
Now can I

When I’m alone
And all are gone
The painted leaves
Onto the sun
In the light of god
I see myself
Improving things
Oh every day
The open sky
The breathing stars
When …. Come
In a world apart
‘Cause in these times
There’s no way of knowing

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fateless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
Beautiful day without you (ah)

Like rays of gold (I honestly can)
Now can I (forget the pain)

Living on my guard (guarded)
Wind is on my neck (fateless)
Sun is on my face (have courage)
A beautiful day without you (without you)

And still I’m spoiled
Feeling refined
This beautiful day
Makes me sigh…

***

***

not hearing from them for a while started taking its toll. i felt real lonely in the house with or without company. i really miss __. supposedly, he’s been wanting to pass on a message to me NOT TO WEAR BLACK IN THE FOREST OR THE BEES WILL ATTACK because i wear black whenever we go camping. but, i haven’t gotten an email back or a msg at home or anything. i keep asking for pictures so she sent an email of pictures of him but they were taken in san francisco?? i didn’t know if i was laughing out madness or appeciation. she IS kinda funny.

ltr: gael(4), rio(6), & ku(6)

it’s weird cuz when we were on the phone last time, we almost started arguing but we caught it in time and stopped. she was giving me reasons (excuses) why they haven’t called or emailed back. but, i know for a fact she sends msgs to ______ about random shit.

so i called when i could get __ on the phone. that was fun. he’s hilarious. i asked him if he met any girls and he got mad like boys do when they feel embarrassed. he told me, ‘don’t hang out with girls! daddy!’ i was like, ‘oh no…never.’

then she got on the phone. that was nice. she’s funny. i miss her too.

***

absence make the heart grow wiser

***

x: “how long should a guy wait before calling a girl up after she gave you her number?”

o: “dude. 2-3 days. after that, she thinks you suck. if you call right away, it’s like ‘huh?’ all of a sudden, they’re ‘on their period.’”

x: “girls give me their number after making out with me all night but when i call them back in that 2-3 day timeframe, all of a sudden, they’re not interested. eventhough they say all kinds of shit like, ‘i’ve never met anyone like you’ and keep trying to kiss you all night.

o: “…”

x: “does that happen to you?”

o: “all the time! it’s normal. your problem is making a big deal out of it. if you’re looking for love, don’t expect to bump and grind and make out with a drunk chick stranger and expect her to like you after a week. she’s probably met somebody else already.

x: “…”

o: “if you’re looking for sex, it’s actually quite convenient they don’t call you. if that’s the case, don’t leave with a phone number, leave with her panties! lol”

x: “i want to meet a nice girl who also likes to party.”

o: “and you will. there’s lots of real cool chicks out there for sure, but that’s like once in a while. yea, eventually you’ll meet someone who wants to hear back from you the same way and psychically calling out in her head for you to call her, she can’t wait to get to know you and shit. and she won’t be a jerk…girls could be creeps too, you know.”

x: “oh i know…”

o: “yea, but don’t even make a big deal about it. it’s like after feeling up on each other and spilling our drinks bumpin and grinding and bonin’ and the bartender yells, ‘you don’t have to go home, but you do have to go!’, we don’t get all, ‘hey give me your number, let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend!’ we just say, ‘WHATEVS!’ high-five and hope to see them again. it’s all good. AND THEN, there are them girls who need someone to get ‘the kink’ out. that’s on you if you can hang with that.

x: “yea, you’re right.”

o: “…so hold out from always trying be all college sleazy if you’re looking real love. you should fix yourself up and eminate success and kindness with the zeal to have an adventurous time and be full of integrity, work out, and cook a little. i bet you the most beautiful girls would so magnetize to you.

x: “wait…then why don’t you do that? you’re so aggressively sleazy.”

o: “cuz dude i like chicks with issues and they like that shit. if ever i want to get rid of them, i just start acting nice all the time.”

x: “…”

***

she picked up the phone both times. she said, ‘i’m busy tonight…but…i’m free another time!’ i was like, ‘…wow…umm…yea…well…how about tomorrow?’ she said, ‘yea…sure! okay, great. i’ll call you later.’ then she giggled and i heard her sigh right when she hung up. i hung up the phone feeling pretty giddy.

***

remember back in college how we’d talk on the phone for hours and hours? we’d spill our guts all night until daylight i remember. it never seemed enough. i fell in love with you so much just hearing your voice. no matter how far you were, we’d be together. and after a while, you’d know me so well, my secrets, my tale, and only you can i talk to about it. you held a key. but you held it far.

you hid me away and tucked me behind a secret place only you and i know, waiting for the next time you open me again.

***

SHRINKING WORLD

Ellen Allien & Apparat “Way Out” dir. Postodellefragole (Germany)

spotting trains at home
shrinking world, dry lakes
storm is blowing dark
way out is hard

spotting trains at home
shrinking world, dry lakes
storm is blowing dark
way out is hard

***

***

i’ve been saying, ’small world’ a lot lately. it behooves me how some people manage to never meet eventhough we share the same mutual friends, interests, work location, and family ties. when we finally do meet, it seems as if we’ve known each other for a long time already. it also fascinates me how the very people from certain places we wish to avoid always seem to pop up everywhere else in the city. maybe i’m just being stalked?

meanwhile, the people we truly miss and hope to see again seem to be nowhere.

***

if you haven’t been following the dolores park 4th of july incident, they’re are now posting A’s caps as indicators into catching “A” perpetrator. for some reason, i’m afraid they’ll get the wrong guy. there are lots of ‘olive skin’ A’s fans that may have been at the park that day. that $25k reward to snitch on that guy may be better spent on saving both her fingers instead of making her choose one. she chose the middle finger last i heard. now she’s got “the shocker.”

jokes aside, though, it’s really fucked that happened. if anything like that happened to my own son i would unforgivingly kill. i can’t even imagine how people in war torn places feel when explosives kill their children even though they had done nothing other than be at a place where explosives were happening.

they’re narrowing it down though. someone will have a picture and, in the background, will be an image of a guy who has that generic A’s hat, a person of color, and everyone who believe bulletins and popular hysteria will automatically call that guy guilty. i really hope they get the right guy/girl…for roisin’s sake…if they plan on getting money from them. if it’s revenge they seek, i don’t think $25k will buy them peace.

***

i’m gonna be starting a wednesday thingy dingy at the beauty bar every other wednesdays. all electro-indie from all over the world. i’ll post something soon…

***

MAZINGA!!!

in the video above, there is a split second appearance of a female version of Mazinger Z, the bot above. i loved this anime when i was a kid. i spotted the female bot in the video and got really turned on. it must be summer.

i think i’ll go see transformers now.

***

disco.

ANTHROPOLOGY

watch this…

Rilo Kiley The Moneymaker

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porn? anyone?

***

i eventually transferred to uc berkeley to study cultural anthropology. besides the fact that everyone else in the family wanted me to attend cal berkeley for its prestige and gossip pomp, i went there for only one reason: _____, my high school sweetheart.

before she dumped me, she was accepted into ucb straight out of high school as expected. she’s a real smart cookie. not only was she deathrock hot, she’s geek hot too. i knew she’d be in the same department and that i’d see her again. hopefully, we’d get back together…NOT.

i finally saw her one day and she walked right pass me without a flinch. i dropped out the following semester.

***

i’d like to do an anthropological study documentary on the sexual behaviours of hipster chicks and scene chicks gone porn. any volunteers??

***

freak ♥ freak

I’LL NEVER ASK AGAIN

Chris Garneau Relief (NYC)

i saw the sea come in
i saw your good old friend
he walked right passed
i’ll never ask
i’ll never ask again

i saw the sea come in
i saw your good old friend
he walked right passed
i’ll never ask
i’ll never ask again

i love the way you dance
we can work well out
dont u miss your chance
the pain will all grow out

i heard ur good old word
i heard the things you said
they shuffled in
i will be the same i’ll be the same in red

i heard ur good old word
and i also heard the things you said
they shuffled in
i will be the same i’ll be the same
goodnight

i love the way you dance
we can work well out
dont you miss your chance
the pain will all grow out

i didnt go to see the city
i went to see it around you
we can laugh in hell together
the devil will find you to

nose to nose
eyes on the clouds
this is what i said
we never never end

nose to nose
eyes on the clouds
this is what i said
we never never end

i saw the sea come in
i saw your good old friend
he walked right passed
i’ll never ask, i’ll never ask again

***

***

i didn’t mean to walk right pass you…

***

i’ve realized how myspace has taken complete over my decision making. a ‘friend’ snubbed me the other night. so, in revenge, i deleted her. it gave me the satisfaction of relief but now i regret it cuz she’s pretty hot…and we’re still friends. pffft.

***

last night, i cooked up two sirloin steaks i got from trader joe’s using my special marinade called, “juicylito”

1/4 cup plum wine
1 cup soy sauce
1 onion (cut long way)
1 jalapeno pepper
2 garlic cloves
paprika
(feel free to add other spices here especially if you’re a smoker)

before you leave the house:

take the steak
cut that shit into three
put it in a bowl
add plum wine
add paprika
massage that shit until it’s kinda grinded in there and dry
cut the veggies
mix it in a freezer bag with the soy sauce
stick it in the fridge until it’s dinner time

when you get home:

broil it or fry it in butter. serve with asparagus or baked onions.

i like steak.

***

i’m 3lbs. away to qualifying for mid-weight semi-knockdown!!! wish me luck!